Holistic coaches Christopher August and Sara Oakley of Soul in Wonder are challenging me and I’m not taking it from these young whippersnappers! ! I quit! Not!
I love what they are doing. I feel invigorated and inspired. I have done a lot of personal growth work in my life and thus I appreciate that they are doing some cutting-edge stuff that stretches me! So here I go–answering the questions on the worksheet.
- The self-sabotage behaviors and characteristics I have expressed in the recent past are:
Getting embroiled in situations that completely drained my energy because I thought I needed to protect people from certain situations.
I realize now that I need to choose my battles, and let people learn their lessons in their own time. I want to be more in tune with God as to where I should pour my energy.
I have stayed with people who were supportive with their words, but in so many ways with their actions were not supportive.
I need to be more discerning, and not be seduced by people’s charm.
I have in the past used food to drown my sorrows or distract me from doing what I needed to do. I haven’t done that for two days! Yay!
I have gotten swept up in trying to help people do things–that were not necessarily for their highest good–but I let them persuade me that it was. I wasn’t listening to my intuition. I wasn’t being honest with the other person because of fear of being rejected.
Okay…this is taking forever! I’ll work on this more tomorrow! Next question:
2. What excuses do you often make?
I don’t have enough time.
I don’t have enough money.
I need to get this done before I do that.
If only so and so would not be doing that, I would be okay.
Yikes! This is too much. I’ll do more tomorrow! (oops–that was another excuse)
It is too hard technically for me. I’m not technical.
I don’t like to learn new things.
3. In what way do these excuses and behaviors get in the way of you achieving your goals?
My time and energy is drained by drama.
My thoughts go towards the drama and keep me from focusing.
I have to do a lot of processing–which is a good thing–but if I am creating more things to process–that is a bad thing!
4. What do you get out of not thriving in this area of your life?
Not having even one person here to join me in the community has given me time to really figure out what I am about and what this community is going to look like.
All the drama that has occurred especially since I started conceptualizing and building this Vegan Ecovillage has been a blessing because it catapulted me out of my Christian mindset and now I can be open to people of all kinds of faith walks.
I really think that on some level I did not attract a compatible person to help me co-create this community was because I just wasn’t ready!
Less and less I find myself self-sabotaging.
I know this wasn’t the expected outcome of this question but it feels good.
Which needs and values are not being met as a result?
I have blocked myself from my true values one of which was critical creative thinking–I thought in my Christian walk I was being logical and studying Christian apologetics so I could justify my faith walk and feel a sense of belonging.
My actions of getting involved in trying to fit in with groups because I was so desperate for relationships which resulted in so much drama–kept me from having healthy relationships.
I see so clearly now that when I finally accepted that I would rather be alone rather than compromising my values with people, that I opened myself up to close friends who are really supportive.
I know I need to go deeper into this work, but this is a good start.
Thanks for reading.